Find out exactly what's blocking yours. 7 domains. 63 questions. Grounded in the research of Gottman, Perel, and Nagoski.
Free to start • Private • ~15 minutes
How it works
63 questions across 7 research domains. No filler — each one maps to peer-reviewed science on desire. About 15 minutes.
An AI analyst reads your Desire Index and shows you what's sustaining desire, what's suppressing it, and exactly where to focus to improve your score.
Both take it. The system detects interaction effects between your scores — pursuer-distancer dynamics, fusion traps, desire discrepancies. Patterns neither of you can see alone.
What we measure
Each domain maps to a distinct body of research. Together, they form the most complete picture of what sustains — or suppresses — desire in long-term relationships.
How safe do you feel being emotionally naked with your partner?
Can you still see your partner as someone separate, mysterious, and not fully known?
What is your body working with — and what's got the brakes on?
Is there room in your mind for desire to live?
Do you both show up for each other — and do you feel actively wanted?
Have you become co-managers of a life instead of lovers in one?
Are you someone worth desiring — and does the relationship still feel alive?
The evidence base
Every question traces back to published, peer-reviewed research on desire, attachment, and relationship functioning.
John Gottman
Bid-response patterns, contempt prediction, repair after conflict
Esther Perel
Erotic distance, celebrated otherness, imagination as engine of desire
Emily Nagoski
Dual control model — desire as accelerators minus brakes
Rosemary Basson
Circular model of desire — intimacy → arousal → desire
Arthur Aron
Self-expansion theory — growth-promoting relationships sustain desire
Mario Mikulincer
Adult attachment and sexual functioning in long-term couples
Prekatsounaki et al.
Object-of-desire affirmation — the strongest predictor of desire in long-term relationships
Janssen & Bancroft
Sexual Inhibition System — spectatoring, body shame, guilt, and performance anxiety as brakes on desire
These researchers are cited for their published work. Desire Index is not affiliated with or endorsed by any of them.
The Desire Index shows you exactly where — and what to do about it. Free to start. Private. About 15 minutes.